Rottencrotch, you’ll always be
Home sweet home to me
Good old Rottencrotch,
Though it hurts now when I pee.

~to the tune of Rocky Top

I insulted your family in haiku
It’s kind of a strange thing to do
I never liked them much
They’re all out of touch
And they’ll never read this, woo hoo!

American eunuch, show me how you pee!

~to the tune of American Woman

Pai Mei, we could do Kung-Fu.

~to the tune of Amie

I can poo if I want to, I can poo from my behind.

~to the tune of Safety Dance

All I know is that I walked into a tattoo shop and when I came out, I was pregnant and there was this beautiful picture of Kenny Rogers on my back.