I seriously just went to pick my nose and missed.

Rebecca’s mom (from another room):
Hey Rebecca, will a bar of soap flush down the toilet?

Rebecca:
Um, I think it depends on the size. I imagine it would get stuck at first but then it would flush once the water had worn it down a bit.

*flloooooooosh*

Rebecca’s mom (still from another room):
No, it just kind of gets stuck on the bottom.

Rebecca:
Mom, did you drop a bar of soap in the toilet?

Rebecca’s mom:
Maybe. I’ll tell you this though, if I had, there’s no way I’d reach my hand in for it.

I live in a house with three males, therefore, I am neurotic (nay, obsessive) about cleaning the toilet. Each day I scrub and wipe and disinfect the throne with tender loving care. And each day, as I wipe away the dumscreet (that dirty nasty filth on and around the lid hinges), I curse the person who decided it was a good idea to put movable parts and crevices on the most unhygienic appliance in the home.

Now, I’m fascinated by poop. It’s funny stuff. I pride myself on being the resident Poop Afficionada…but dumscreet is no laughing matter (one of my three Life Laws is never shake hands with a plumber). Someone (preferably NOT me) needs to design a toilet without crevices, without hinges, or perhaps we should just go back to using a hole in the ground.

In my “research” (and by “research” I mean I Googled the word “toilet”) I came across the following interesting links which may provide you with valuable information and minutes of entertainment.

The “Flush Toilet”: A Tribute To Ingenuity by Sylvan Tieger
A highly informative article about the history of the poop trap

The Toilet Museum
Taking toilet humor to a new low

The World Toilet Organization
The bathroom equivalent of the World Health Organization, promoting “toilet education and culture”

Toiletology 101
Toilet history, information, resources, and fix-it tips

How Toilets Work
A straightforward and somewhat funny article about the inner workings of the throne from those smarties at Howstuffworks.com

And finally, if you need a little light reading while on the john, check out Clean and Decent: The Fascinating History Of The Bathroom And The Water-Closet by Lawrence Wright

Now that you’re armed with so much toilet know-how, go forth and designeth a dumscreet-free potty. Pretty please? As for me, I’m off to clean the bowl, and the damned dumscreet (again)(sigh).